Slingbaby

Here's one of Kyla's early rides in Beth's homemade sling.  It makes her very happy and squishy.

Stop. Nana time.

Here's a little test video of Kyla's first day with her Nana.  This video illustrates two points:

1) She loves her Nana already.
2) She doesn't stop moving for very long.  Ever.

Behind the Scenes

So, here I sit, with little Kyla asleep on the bed to my right, stuffed between two rolled-up hand towel "bumpers," and since she's clearly thinking deep thoughts (you can tell because she's trying out every facial expression in her arsenal all at once), I thought I should update our faithful readers on how our little monkey came into the world.  Thus, I give you The Birth In One Paragraph Or Less:

Here's how the birth went down.  Beth's water broke at about 6:30 am on Tuesday morning, while I was happily dozing.  We called the doctor, who had us come in to the hospital.  (We weren't even sure it was labor at that point, as there were no contractions yet, so Beth had a nice leisurely shower, I shaved and finished packing my hospital bag -- hey, no time like the present.)  A couple of quick tests later, we were off to our private delivery suite (thank goodness -- absolutely can't imagine going through this with someone else over in another part of the room).  Beth then proceeded to be a complete rock star -- I don't think she complained once, other than to say "ouch."  No meds, nothing but a fluids IV to make sure she didn't get dehydrated.  Nonetheless, Kyla seemed to be pretty sure she wouldn't fit -- she came down, and down further, and after 15 hours of contractions followed by 4 hours of pushing, well, she turned right around and headed back up to her womb.  After some deliberation, it became clear that we didn't have much choice but to do a C-section, and so, a little reluctantly, but secure in the knowledge that we had done our absolute best, and were out of options, we agreed.  It worked out fine, obviously; Ky is awesome and happy, Beth is awesome, happy, and recovering quickly from the surgery, and I am awesome, happy, and got to wear scrubs and a mask.  Everybody wins!

In other news, we may have discovered Beth's mutant power, which is to be made of rubber.  She's recovering VERY well from the surgery, and was resilient enough that, after 19 hours of labor, she was cracking jokes and bonding with the nurse on the way to the OR.

In short, I agree with our nurse.  Beth's my hero.

Kyla Nova

Ladies and gentlemen, Kyla Nova Aronoff has arrived.  She was born December 23rd at about 4 in the morning, and weighed 9 lbs., 2 oz.  Everybody's doing wonderfully, and we're already surprised at how interested we are in the frequency of her diaper changes.  Truly, it is a new world.

Harbinger

Month 9, it is upon us.  In a few short weeks, the sprout will sprout. Don't believe me? Check it:

Also, the Acquisition Of Baby Items has begun (more on this soon), which includes this super-awesome stroller and car seat.  Amazing But True Fact: it's actually easy to use!  (My distorted and superhuman leg length, though also awesome, is not due to the impending baby.)

How's this for a terrifying analogy?

My childhood is to morning reruns of "I Love Lucy" as the sprout's childhood is to reruns of "The Cosby Show." Seriously. They're the same amount of time apart.

Music lessons

Songs we like Daddy to play (so far, as demonstrated by lots of kickies and flipping about):

- Rainbow Connection
- The Garden Song
- When You Dream, by BNL

Fifteen years ago, or thereabouts, I sat in the basement of Chez Aronoff, playing guitar and thinking to myself that someday, way way WAY far in the future, I'd be playing for my own kid.  At the time, I thought that the Rainbow Connection was one of the most important songs to play for the kid, as it manages to capture a) magic, b) everything I like in a melody, c) a frog, and d) awesomeness.  Well, it turns out that I AM playing it for my kid, and it's just as fulfilling as I thought it would be.  Yes, indeed.

Some sort of pun about showering goes here

We've just finished a very successful baby shower.  Thanks to our many helpers, especially those people who took truffles home with them, as it means there are fewer to eat.  For those of you who like narrative captions, or couldn't be here because of work, flu, space invaders, or any other reason, I present to you...dum duh duh DAH!  Photos!

Beth's Baby Shower Of Awesomeness

Thirty-Three Weeks

Helloooo out there!  Thought it was [past] time for an update.

Sprout has been sprouting for 33 weeks now.  Evidently, that means she's still working on breathing, her digestive system, and regulating her body temperature, but is mostly just doing her best to gain weight.  We had to have her checked out via sonogram yesterday because she decided to have a good stretch during our regular doctor's visit, and her/my overlarge belly measurement was cause for concern.  I spent a couple of days wondering whether we were having a giant baby (yeek!), but no -- just a stretchy one.  She's slightly over 4 pounds at this point, which is right where she's supposed to be.

Since this was the third time someone told us Sprout was a girl, I think we can pretty much stop wondering.  The tech also commented on her long legs and pouty lips (and she wasn't kidding -- see the weird, grainy picture below for a nose-and-mouth shot).  They were able to locate a bladder this time... which, till yesterday, I didn't know was missing from the earlier anatomical sonogram.  Glad it's there, though.

Weird, grainy picture (she's sideways):

On other fronts, we're making progress in her room.  Matt has been putting up extra shelves and light fixtures this week; I've been sewing, and organizing the beginnings of her wardrobe.  Thanks to hand-me-downs from Max and the shopping savvy of the two grandmamas, we have a good start on what we'll need.  The stripes are painted on the wall, the prints are up, and the dressers are in place (thanks, Lisa, for your assembly help!).  It's starting to look right.  Lazlo has been thoughtfully testing out each new item to make sure it feels right, too.

The Little Things

I have never been quite as pleased to find out that someone has the hiccups as I was this morning. Woot! Go Sprout! Practice that breathing.

A fine curvature!

A curious thing has happened over the past few doctors' appointments -- because we're a low risk pregnancy, and there don't seem to be any complications, we're in and out of there in about as much time as it takes to cook a steak.  The big news from our last visit, it seems, is that Beth has excellent blood stats (no anemia, no diabetes), and more importantly, a fine curvature.  I didn't know this was a thing, but since it is, it's clearly time to document it.

Also there are baby clothes.

Sprout Art

Photographies!  I've just finished processing these, and they will be going up in the nursery as soon as they're printed.  We wanted something hyper-saturated, because (as you will see once it's put together and the pictures go up) the furniture and most of the walls are going to be done in relatively muted whites and blonde-and-really-dark wood tones.

Even as I write this, Beth is sewing together a super-colorful rug made of my old t-shirts (also being happy because it looks great and growling because it takes so freakin' long) -- the rug and these prints are definitely some of the focal points for the room.  Yay non-store-bought art!

Dear Sprout,

Please stop pressing up against my lungs.  It's alarming to have to concentrate on breathing.

Love, Mama

A window upon this, my future

I am all but positive that the Sprout will make this exact face at us.  I suspect that it will be a way to distract us from the fact that she has covered the cat in pudding.

Haiku for the Changing Season

Out of reach of hands,

My feet redden in the cold.

Seek clogs, tiny toes.

         ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sandals set aside,

No more slipping in and out...

Must prop foot on chair.

More to follow...

More actual content coming in the next day or two, but I just saw Beth's shirt bounce from a little baby dance move. It was the first time I've been able to *see* a kick. It was awesome. That is all.

Pregnancy belly revelation:

It's like an Etch-a-Sketch!

Photo session #5

Time for a guest star! This week's photos include not only the regular guest star, who is getting ever more lively, but also Lazlo, our feline sling tester. The sling in which he appears was lovingly crafted by miss Bethany from fabric that, I am convinced, is possessed by the spirit of Tim Burton. (The fact that he's still alive makes this all the weirder.)

Pregnancy is different from the vapors.

So, here's a new one for me. What happens when I have the flu and Beth doesn't? I am currently in the process of coming down with something, but I find myself struggling to do all the minor house-maintenance things that need doing. Trash, litter, recycling, all must go out tonight, so I start, get dizzy, Beth offers to help, I finally say ok (no, not to the litter, but to the recycling), and as I'm standing at the sink drinking a glass of water to get better, I look down and go "I know! I'll do the DISHES!"

Thus, things I am learning today:

1) The nesting instinct, it seems, is definitely kicking in for me, too.

2) Pregnant people need protection, but are not invalids.

3) Don't move Ikea furniture boxes when you're feeling crappy, it'll make you absolutely sure that you have the flu.

Yup.

Why yes, I AM making all the turkey bacon in the house because it's the only acceptable snack food. Thanks for asking!

What Once Was Icky Now Is Not

Hello all.

So... many of you know what a bizarre week we just had, but in case anyone missed it, here is the official recap. Oh, my.

I'm supposed to be feeling some stretching out at this point, so I wasn't particularly surprised when I started having abdominal pains about a week ago. What did surprise me was that they became near-constant, really intense, and woke me up twice in two hours on Saturday night. Hm. After a phone conversation with the on-call OB/GYN at the hospital, we realized that we couldn't rule out appendicitis... so we decided at about 2 AM to pay a visit to the emergency room.

I won't give you a play-by-play of the 5 hours we spent at the hospital. A few highlights were going in for the ultrasound and finding out (from the tech, he of the six daughters) that our Sprout is very likely a girl. Squee! There was also the random white-coated guy -- who probably didn't even work there -- who kept popping in on the heels of the nurse or doctor to tell us exactly what we'd just been told, or ask us what we'd just been asked. I wonder if we should have reported him to someone. To sum up, we finally left without a diagnosis, but more knowledge:

It wasn't preterm labor.

It wasn't a kidney stone.

It wasn't a cyst.

They couldn't find my appendix, but it didn't present exactly like appendicitis.

My white blood cell count was up, so it could have been viral.

They prescribed something for pain and something for nausea (yep, I spared you some details, didn't I?), and sent us home to self-monitor.

Yeah... I wasn't getting better. By the time I made it to our doctor's office on Monday, I was shuffling, moaning, and pale (luckily, no one cried zombie -- I was able to avoid any panicking mob activity). I managed to get to my appointment (barely), and as far as Matt's parents' house on the way back (barely again). I wouldn't have made it at all, but Matt took the day off, and my lovely mother-in-law drove us in my lovely father-in-law's Avalon (so I could lie down in the back). Go team!

Our OB/GYN suspected a bladder infection or UTI. She prescribed a fetus-friendly antibiotic accordingly, which began to work its magic right away; I gradually went from zombie to fairly uncomfortable and bedridden to able to eat and drink normally, and pretty much walk around, in about 5 days. Meanwhile, Matt ran interference. He made calls and appointments, filled prescriptions, and kept me supplied with books and provisions. When he had to be away, my lovely mother-in-law Amy filled in; thank you, support system!

In any case, we were supposed to go in for a follow-up appointment and diagnosis on Thursday. We went... but our doctor sheepishly had to admit that they'd, um, forgotten to send out my sample to be cultured. No diagnosis for me. Next week, I am to sneak in during a staff meeting and leave another sample, so they can at least see if the infection is gone (seriously -- doctor's orders). So! That is the exciting conclusion of our week of drama.

If this story has a moral, I think it has to be that, as complicated as pregnancy can be (because, you see, I'm currently more susceptible to a number of delightful ailments), it doesn't mean that the main player is as affected as the rest of us. Example: we had a Wednesday ultrasound -- one that we'd scheduled a month ago -- and during all the tense checking and re-checking of measurements, Sprout looked straight at us and yawned. We're running around all zombified, and she's just not fazed at all, no sir.

Ahypothetical

Over the past week or so, the sprout has really started to move around (and do so pretty much all the time). S/he seems to have a pretty steady routine: we wake up in the late morning, demand breakfast, do some calisthenics, have a day, and stay up late watching movies and doing more calisthenics. It's certainly pretty cute to feel a little thwap from time to time, but there's a side effect that I wasn't quite expecting, too. As some of you may recall from the first couple of posts I put up, I started off by connecting to the baby-growing process via the gadgetry. In large part, that had to do with it seeming kind of hypothetical -- I mean, there wasn't really any physical evidence, Beth seemed just as normal as ever (ahem), and we needed to use a machine to even see the kid, so for all we really knew we could have been watching ultrasound data from a baby in South Island, New Zealand. (Yes, I chose New Zealand. It's far, vaguely mysterious, and full of sheep.) In the last week, though, the sprout has stopped being a hypothetical construct and started being a member of the family. I suspect this happened earlier for Beth, who isn't here to ask just at the moment, but being able to actually feel the motions that the sprout is performing (my guess? Tai Chi.) has made this process real for me, and done so all at once. (For example, the thought process goes like this: The sprout responds to meal times; well, *I* respond to meal times, too!! Yay!!) It's the first of many surprising things s/he will do, I'm sure.

And speaking of awkward grammatical constructions, we'll hopefully be finding out (to use Will Baldwin's phrasing) whether we're having a sprout or a sproutette this coming Wednesday. Just *think* how much simpler the pronouns will be!

(Lastly, this is another iPhone-composed post. Evidently, it works well when you're *not* stuck on a plane, too.)

Photo session #4

Dear bloggyreaders,

Attached, please find a series of photos in which Beth attempted to distract the viewer from her ever-more-pregnant sprout belly by emoting with great drama. (...and then took two really nice pictures at the end that I'm including 'cuz they're awesome.)

And in case you're curious, the picture in which she's holding up one finger and looking dramatically towards the future was her being the statue of William Penn in Philadelphia.

Hugs and sparkly things,

The Proto-Pater

PS - Blogger has been giving me some headaches with regard to images that you can't click to enlarge. You SHOULD be able to click these pictures to see the full versions -- most of the posts have that working properly, but if you encounter a picture that you can't click to enlarge, well, consider me sufficiently embarrassed :-).

Yes indeed...

KICK!! Beth's been feeling them for a couple of days, and I just now felt the first one. I'm way more excited than is reasonable. I also think it's that the sprout finds The Wire to be a particularly compelling show.

Of COURSE we'll be responsible pare-- ooh, shiny!

We're (probably) right around halfway through now, and as we start to put the nursery together, it's becoming ever more clear that what the sprout really needs, much more than, say, diapers, or food, is a felted ball rug.

Tell me you don't want this, too.

Amusing sensitivities, volume 1

Things I can no longer do: test funny alternative word conjugations. Trying to replace "spammed" with "spum" in conversation caused Beth to make a noise like I had offered her a bowl full of eyeballs. Noted.

Too peanutty?

There are so many things to consider when pregnant. It's easy to avoid the obvious dangers -- the ones everyone tells you about, like changing cat litter (for fear of toxoplasmosis) and drinking alcohol. Every now and again I come across something that I haven't considered, though... and it totally freaks me out.

Not long ago, I was reading about various prenatal exercises in a booklet that the insurance company sent. One cheerful little bullet point warned that I should avoid doing crunches, because (of course) lying on my back would deprive the baby of oxygen. WHAT? But... EVERY NIGHT I lie on my back to read before going to sleep! Had I -- at the very least -- made the baby dumber?

Further research has led me to believe that no, we're fine -- but later on in the pregnancy I should stay on my side, for both our sakes. The Sprout's just not that unwieldy yet. OK, that's a relief...

Then there was the toothpaste incident. In my defense, not only was I half asleep, I was also catching a cold. Here, it's salt -- have a grain. Anyway, I was up in the middle of the night because I was huuuungry. I decided to brush my teeth after my snack, rinsed out my mouth and -- I think -- swallowed some toothpaste foam. Hm. Well, I had the internet at my disposal, so I decided to see if that would be a problem for Sprout.

Oops. It turns out that the fluoride toothpaste debate is ongoing and rabid. Fluoride is a neurotoxin (eep!), and whether it should be used at all by pregnant women or young children is under scrutiny (possibly crackpot scrutiny, but I couldn't tell at that time of night). Oh dear. I had, once again, probably made the baby dumber.

The next day, I remembered that I had access to a 24-hour nurse hotline. The nice RN looked into things for me. Once again, no damage done. Sigh.

The thing is, I'm not like this. All on my own, I'm perfectly willing to take risks -- even with toxic chemicals (mercury in fish, anyone?). My usual approach is that I'm certainly not going to live forever, and I'd like to enjoy my sushi in the meantime. Now that I'm sharing space, though, making decisions for two of us, I find myself being almost freakishly cautious. (Alright, scratch the 'almost.' I had Matt smell the peanut butter the other night because I thought it smelled too... peanutty.)

It's strange, and novel, and probably only the beginning of the strange and novel shifts in how I'll approach the world as a parent. I just hope someone is always on hand to douse me with a nice, cold bucket of common sense.

Or just to smell the peanut butter.

Photo session #I'veLostCount

Time for some new pictures of Beth!

We're now closing out week 17, and as you may notice, the sprout is most certainly sprouting. The 4 am trips downstairs for sustenance are becoming more frequent, and remain just as amusing for those of us in the house who aren't pregnant; I never know when I will, for example, come downstairs to discover that all the muenster cheese has vanished from the house, as if by magic, whilst I slept.

Daguerreotypes ensue:

Sprout does things

We just had the four-month checkup, during which they did an audio-only sonogram (to listen for the heartbeat). So we're listening to the (delightfully strong) heartbeat, and suddenly... *THWACK*. The sprout kicks the microphone. I like that his/her first recognizable movement was kung fu.

Symmetricality

Yes, here we are, back in MD after our Minneapolis trip. It was both strange and wonderful to spend time with soon-to-be-aunt Alice and soon-to-be-uncle Will, people I first met during oddly cerebral drunken evenings at Oberlin before I had even met miss Bethany. Most likely, the next time we see them, we will both have tiny people, and those tiny people will be cousins, and someday they can go out and have oddly cerebral drunken evenings together.

For the moment, though, they're sort of indistinguishable from melons in bas-relief.

Making Waves

Hello, yoppers.

My latest "impending parenthood" update is only indirectly baby-related... but it's significant to us, so I thought I'd share. After a great deal of consideration (maybe too much consideration, actually -- I can go back and forth on an issue like nobody's business), I recently decided not to go back to teaching in the fall. *dramatic thunderclap*

Yeah. It'll be a big change for us, but it's one that we're ready to take on. After much discussion (much, much discussion), we've come to the conclusion that it simply makes the most sense. I wish I could go into more detail, but the seductively private feel of blogging -- it's just you guys reading this, right? -- is not going to deceive me this time. Oh internet, public forum for everyone's inner monologue, I know you too well!

Since I was off for the summer anyway, my day-to-day routine really hasn't changed. I do feel different -- much lighter, happier, and ready to take on any household challenge that nips at my heels. I've also had the chance to work on some freelance writing projects. Imagine that. :)

So. The hope is that having a slower-paced, more restful third trimester than I would have (had I been in the classroom) will make everyone less crazy in the long run. Here's to hope!

Peace and love,

The Mama-to-Be

Notes from the Midwest baby underground

We've discovered our go-to baby store. It's built into a large Edwardian house in St. Paul, Minnesota. Therein lie items from the baby underground: organic cotton sheets for a reasonable amount of money, finely crafted wooden ladybugs on wheels (for high-speed insect chases), and bamboo kimonos. Like this one:

And they ship things :-). Anyway, we're back from visiting the sprout's proto-cousin, and had a wonderful time. New belly pics to follow, but in the meantime, here are Beth and Alice being pregnant in a big chair.

In which I ramble from the air

Two things are happening right now.

First, we're on a plane to Minneapolis to spend a long weekend with Beth's brother and sister-in-law (which is to say, Will and Alice, or my brother-in-law and sister-outlaw). The plane was delayed, because that's what happens to Northwest Airlines planes, and apparently during the delay I misplaced my ability to focus on anything I'm reading. Since this isn't Virgin America, I can't explore back episodes of Eureka from my seat, so here I sit. I've decided to try writing a full-on blog post on my iPhone. So far it's going pretty well, dontcha think? You didn't even know, did you? Be honest -- I'm no more concise than usual, am I?

See?

The second thing that's happening is that the sprout is on his last full-on vacation before being born. (Beth can only travel for another month and a half, and these are the last two flights we have planned.)

It's becoming clear that, as much as we're anticipating his arrival, we're both a little bit freaked about having Primary Caregiver Responsibility over this little person who is, as of today, about five and a half months from saying a great big hello to this here world. And by "we're both a little freaked," of course, I mean "Beth knows exactly what's up, and I'm a little freaked." While on the one hand, I've got the standard new hypotheti-father jitters, I have to say that what's really getting to me is that I don't know if I'll be a sufficiently good storyteller.

This morning on the way to work, I was listening to an audiobook of "What Do You Care What Other People Think", which is a collection of stories and other writings by the kick-ass physicist Richard Feynman. In said book, he told a story about his father's amazing ability to make science, any science, accessible and interesting. (If you haven't read it, it's brilliant, and you should check it out.). The way he was able to do it was to link everything to the real world. The size of a tyrannosaurus wasn't just some numbers; it meant that if he were standing on the lawn, he'd be tall enough to reach the bedroom window, but his head would be too big to fit inside. That sort of skill is something I've always aspired to, and I just don't know how well I'll be able to break down something as complex and multifaceted as, well, everything, into bits and pieces that somebody who can barely get his or her pants on facing the right way will find engaging and interesting. See, when I imagine my bonding time with little sprout, it's almost always teaching 'em -- having a conversation about why stars twinkle, or where dreams come from -- that come to mind. So I suppose what I'm really saying is that I have a lot of thinking to do over the next few months, so I have a little bit of a head start when the sprout asks me something really insightful, and I don't just want to bullshit him/her. Which, of course, sometimes I will. Just for funsies.

(As an appendix to this post, I'm also going to say that I think the iPhone's keyboard is spectacular, and that people who say "oh, but it doesn't have a physical keyboard" are completely missing the point. I've been able to knock out this entire post at something approaching full typing speed. Having used MANY small physical keyboards over the last ten years or so, I can tell you that I've never gotten anywhere close to this before, even when the keyboard was substantially larger than this one is. Smart keyboards are the only way we've got right now to solve the fact that, if it's the right size for you pocket, it's the wrong size to type on! Ok, that is all. Thanks for your support.)

Ve build ze nest.

We just bought the dining table that the sprout is going to remember as "the table." The one that s/he knows from below just as well as from above. It's pretty slick.

A tough decision, sort of.

This post is, partially, a eulogy for the Orbit stroller. Yes, Orbit, your top-shelf industrial design was beguiling; your three hundred and sixty degrees of child rotation left us imagining children happily askew during walks to the library; your startlingly simple seat attachment and detachment made our fingers positively tingle with anticipation.

Nonetheless, your astronomical price tag stands in our way. Calling yourself a System, but including none of the additional parts in the already hefty initial purchase, means that we cannot partake of your wonders.

The first tough decision in the planning of the sprout's arrival, then, is this: certain sprout accessories will be superior, but simply will not be worth the cost. Even when the thing manages to be both well-designed and free of excessive branding, the business of Baby is still a lucrative one, one that drives prices very high indeed, and sometimes we're going to have to forgo The Thing in favor of The Thing That Makes Sense.

So instead, BOB Revolution Stroller, we come to you. You, too, have a fine frame and easy maneuvering. You, too, can accommodate both tiny sprout and toddler sprout. You are less expensive, to be sure, but you have some comparative drawbacks. You are not, for example, a System unto yourself. But though you do not rotate, and necessitate an infant seat that will be slightly more difficult to insert into and remove from our cars, we love you all the same.

Plus, you come in a pretty brown/sky blue combination that Beth thinks is suh-weet.

Mm... *Smack*

You know you must be pregnant when you get up in the middle of the night to drink a nice, cold mug of half & half. Dee-licious!

Alive and awake

The second trimester has arrived in full force! Know how we can tell? Because, as of about 7 pm on Monday afternoon, Beth's energy is back. It's actually pretty incredible; the transition from completely worn out and napping multiple times per day to bouncing off the walls took about 15 minutes.

This has basically been the way of things for the entire pregnancy so far -- during the first few weeks, the cravings would shift instantly. Wednesday: jalapeno-stuffed olives and the most viciously vinegary potato chips I could get my hands on. Thursday: that's ridiculous, there must be SOUP! It was the same with the (fantastically brief) morning sickness. Everything was totally normal, then we went to see Star Trek, and suddenly Beth was nauseous for the next 2 weeks. (Normally, I would chalk that up to poor scriptwriting, but the movie was really good!)

So here we are in the middle months. In less than two months, we'll know if we'll be acquiring a sprout or a sproutina. Shortly thereafter, they say, s/he can start discerning voices (although, as mentioned earlier, we're already having some chats). Indeed, strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

Yopping?

Our blog has a silly name. One hazard of coming late to blogger is that the sensible designations have already been taken... but we like being silly, so I can't disclaim too much.

Here's the backstory:

For those of you who don't know/remember, Dr. Seuss' "Horton Hears a Who!" is about Horton the Elephant saving a speck of dust from annihilation because he hears voices coming from it -- the Whos of Who-ville. None of the other animals can hear anything, so they decide Horton is insane and -- for the elephant's own good, of course -- plan to boil the dust speck in beezlenut oil. Warned of the danger, the Whos start shouting and playing instruments in an attempt to be heard... but it's only when one tiny boy calls out "Yop!" at the end that it works.

I thought that the Sprout might be the reason I was feeling odd one day, but I'd just gotten a negative result on a pregnancy test the week before. I made it clear (to thin air) on my drive home from work that anyone who wanted to be heard was going to have to yop. So. The next time I checked, s/he did.

A person's a person, no matter how small.

(Beezlenut! Rah rah!)

Photo session #2

Hey look, some more recent pictures of Beth! She didn't believe that there had been any change over the past few weeks until we looked at them side by side, but sure enough, I believe we have transitioned into Baby Belly. Go sprout! Way to co-opt your mother's abdomen!

Father-kid chats

Every time I talk to the sprout about computer science, Beth gets the giggles.


(posted from ze phone)

Why doesn't Jony Ive design baby products?

This post should surprise no one. When we found out about the sprout, the first way that I was able to feel connected to the process was to sort out the gadgetry. Cribs and strollers and diapers and bottles and slings and toys and what contains lethal undisclosed chemicals and which things murder puppies during their construction and bed linens and mobiles and so on. You know what I've learned?

The mainstream baby industry thinks we're all from 1950's central Pennsylvania.

For some reason, every item needs to have carved (or molded, if it's plastic) flourishy bits. Wood shall be painted white, any fabric shall have piping on the edges in a) pink or b) blue. Infant toys shall be plastic, and shall represent something only recognizable to adults (so, for example, a tree-themed mobile shall be made up of abstract line drawings of trees). Well, the result of this is that I very quickly went to the "baby underground," and it turns out that it's a lot like the musical or technological underground; that's where all the cool stuff is happening. I'm going to probably do these subtopics in more detail later, but here's another list of what I've discovered.

1) Etsy is the bomb. Seriously. Imagine the best craft show you've ever been to, combined with Amazon. It's glorious. The sprout will not be raised in a world designed by the executives at Graco and Toys 'R' Us (although, I have to say, I do love Toys 'R' Us), but rather by small-scale craftspeople who make things well. This is what the internets ought to be able to give us. Freedom from the big box stores.

2) Cribs are quite a racket. I defy the Buy Buy Baby salespeople to explain to me why their $1000 rectangular crib with the removable side is better than my (sturdier!) $130 rectangular crib with the removable side.

2a) Ikea is an exception to the big box store theory. Inexpensive, and hey, guess what? When the US started stricter safety and environmental regulations on baby stuff a couple of years ago, Ikea didn't have to change anything at all; their testing methods were already past the new regulations.

3) The sprout is going to have some hilarious onesies.

4) Honesty in materials is important. This is actually why the post is titled the way it is. When Jonathan Ive (Apple's head designer) was interviewed about their new laptop designs, what he said was that, in all of their products, they strive for honesty in materials. Don't paint plastic to look like metal; use metal. Essentially, use the characteristics that you need to determine what the thing should be made of. Along those lines, it is encouraging to see what the baby underground is doing with wooden toys. Taking advantage of the fact that wood is really pretty all by itself, is easily sculptable, and that it has greater heft than plastic, it turns out that you can make really satisfying baby toys out of it. I had no idea! And finally, the stroller. If we can manage the cost, our stroller/car seat thing is going to embody this philosophy. Bare metal frame, true one-handed opening and closing, and a giant circle in which to place the seat, rather than two tiny rails that have to be lined up in order to get the thing to fit. If BMW or Apple designed a stroller, this would be it -- although the one major difference is that there's almost no branding anywhere on the thing. W00t!

Power to the baby underground.

Peculiarities

Some things I have discovered so far about (this) pregnancy:

- Sometimes one will discover one's wife munching on rice cakes at the end of the bed around 4 am.
- Mood swings are not as advertised. It's not that they're more dramatic moods, they're just much much faster.
- The storylines of early episodes of Scrubs are, apparently, perfect metaphors for one's own life.
- It means I have to change the cat litter.
- Eating the soup directly out of the pan while it's heating on the stove is a great way to avoid unnecessary delays in feeding sprout.

(posted from ze phone)

Photo sessions #0 and #1

For all of you belly enthusiasts, here are some pictures of Beth at about 7 weeks, and about 11 weeks. It's pretty amazing that there's already a difference -- the sprout is already settling in. I think we should all agree that the last picture captures a dramatic look toward the future... which seems to be slightly upwards.